Sunday, July 03, 2005

25 Signs You Have Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, but you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a bunk bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favourite song in a shopping center.

6. You catch yourself reciting ABC instead of watching it.

7. Your friends marry & divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 20.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh sh*t! What happened?"

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take weekend naps at noon.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating Krystal's at 3AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to." replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again!"

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

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