Touched by the Hand of God

If you've heard about State Senator Ophelia Ford's remarks but haven't read them, here you go.

I didn't read Mayor Herenton's similar statements a year or so ago quite the way I read Ford's. Herenton's really struck me, especially if you hear him making them and not just read them, as the usual "all praise to God who makes things happen, not me" statement. You hear similar stuff all the time on awards shows and after sports games. But this was filtered through the Herenton arrogance and immperiality that makes it sound bad.

Ford, however, is a different story. She's clearly loopy. Either she's a scatter-brain or she's dancing around something she doesn't want to say. My guess is the latter.

She's right about this going on all the time (corruption, electoral abuse and vote fraud). Her family and the larger Democratic Party are some of the worst of it. Republicans do it too. Politics in Memphis and Shelby County really is hardball.

It's been good to see this stuff finally come to light and get some media scrutiny. Heaven knows why it took private investigators, instead of media investigations, to make this happen, but I guess that's the Memphis and modern media world we live in.

It's also been funny watching both the Democrats and Republicans twisting and contorting to bring just enough of the fraud to light to advance their cases without letting too much out that might trigger real, Federal investigations.

There's still a lot out there waiting to be unearthed. One day.

Science Marches On

Google Mars. Tour the Red Planet today. Amazing.

That enormous volcano-looking mountain to the upper left? That's Olympus Mons, the largest mountain in the known solar system. It sticks up 13 miles.

You can even find the locations of known spacecraft on the surface, and view The Face at Cydonia.

Gifts From Islamic Arabia

With all the bad news about Arab Islam and the various wars and uprisings in the Middle East, it's easy to forget all the scientific and engineering and other advances they are responsible for. Follow the link for twenty surprising things that came from the Arab world.

Rattle Rattle

Just a quick mention that I'd appreciate any donations to PayPal, if you are so inclined. My domain hosting fees (as opposed to my domain registration fees) are due in a few days and I need help paying for them. If you can help, I'd be grateful.

Grateful enough to not take swipes at you when I become the Commercial Appeal's Metro columnist? Well, your chances are certainly better than the Tennessee Lottery!

Whither Joyce?

I'll be the first to admit I've not been keeping up with news much for the past couple of months or so. (Though I'm changing that now that I'm hoping to be hired by the Commercial Appeal as their new Metro columnist.) But I distinctly remember that ex-WMCer Joyce Peterson was reporting for WPTY this year. I don't recall seeing her of late.

What happened? Did it not work out? Did she get a better offer? New career path? I'd appreciate knowing.

Customer Service Alert

I haven't had Subway in a good long while. Tonight I got a wild hair and went to the one by Blockbuster on Union. I could have sworn I ordered the Turkey BLT but when I got home, it was just a BLT. And I stood there dull-eyed the whole time he was making it, not noticing. Now, I do have a tendency to mumble, so I don't know whose fault this might have been.

So I trudged back with the sammich and asked whether the manager had heard BLT or turkey BLT. He said just BLT, but was more than willing to remake the sammich. It wasn't a revenge remake either, where they skimp ingredients and do a crappy job. It was a well made sammich.

So, kudos to the Subway on Union in Midtown. It might well have been my fault but he didn't care and was willing to make it right by me without any complaint or attitude. That's just good customer service.

And he gave me a free cookie! Alright.

I Have a Banner Now, So It Must Be Official

Yup, it is official. I am campaigning for Wendi Thomas' old gig. Here's the banner:





Feel free to use this banner on your blog or website. Spread the word. Help me get the job.

And I need a campaign slogan. Any suggestions?

C-yA Wendi

It's now official: Wendi Thomas is leaving the Commercial Appeal and being traded up to the Baltimore Sun for a columnist to be named later. I am, as regular readers can imagine, heartbroken.

LeftWing Cracker caught the story first from the Media News site. Here's how her new employer describes her:

Wendi has been a columnist at The Commercial Appeal in Memphis since August 2003. Her columns -- known for their flair and humor -- include taking on a prominent and controversial political family and calling for elected officials to sign ethical codes of conduct. She has examined potential budget cuts to after-school activities in Memphis and told stories of redemption among ex-gang members. And she has challenged a ballet teacher who won't let a pupil with dreadlocked hair perform in a recital.

Ooooh, that'll teach that mean old ballet teacher! Putting the full weight of a metro daily newspaper behind that crusade sure made a difference in Memphis. I bet Andy "3 On Your Side" Wise is so jealous.

Her popping up for a City Council meeting (and sitting at their table no less!) to demand they sign a behavior pledge is the kind of thing you expect from a high school paper. It's a juvenile stunt.

I was pretty excited when I learned that the paper was hiring its first black columnist. Given that it was already 2003, it was long past time. But Thomas pretty quickly proved herself to be useless at best, generally a panderer, and at worst a self-righteous scold.

In a city as dysfunctional and as rife with political and civic abuse as Memphis, one so loaded with targets it's just not fair, Thomas managed to make her column a blank-firing pistol. A guaranteed portion of tapioca every time in a city crying out a chef with sharp knives. Go back and reread her accomplishments. Take a look back at what's been going on in Memphis during that time. See the disconnect?

Say what you want about Susan Adler Thorp -- and I have -- but she at least knew that a columnist in her position needs to jab. She abused her column in the worst of ways -- including self-enrichment -- but she knew how to throw a sharp needle. Thomas throws Nerf... like a girl.

So, Baltimore's gain is Memphis' gain. It's a win-win.

Now, as to the newly opened columnist position, I humbly submit myself as her replacement. Imagine the headlines: "Memphis paper hires local blogger as new metro columnist." It's a PR coup waiting to happen. National media attention par excellance.

During her tenure, Thomas wrote three regular 1000-word columns a week and the occasional longer column. That's 3000 or so words a week plus some extra. Times 50 weeks (vacation time factored out) that's maybe 15,000 words a year? Maybe 45,000 words over the course of her tenure at the CA. Let's be generous and bump that to 60,000 words. And roughly 500 columns.

In that same time I have blogged over 500,000 words -- over 2000 posts! In three years. It's enough for a six novel career. I'd be a mid-list author well into his alloted life on the bookshelf racks had I written fiction instead.

And all without a salary. While Thomas has profitted handsomely, I have done this for nothing more than love. Well, OK... and a grudge.

I write well, and entertainly entertainingly. I can do political analysis, as even Jackson Baker has admitted. I have broad interests and a wide-ranging curiosity. I have peculiarities, which means the occasional curveball in any column I write, always sure to stir things up a little. I'm not afriad of controversy and can handily and willingly defend myself.

I live by this code:

1. Intelligent people discuss ideas and concepts.
2. Average people discuss current events.
3. Ignorant people discuss each other.

Thomas hovered somewhere between 2 and 3. I always strive for number 1. Now, that may conflict with "telling the stories of Greater Memphis" but someone has to uphold a higher standard and I'd be willing to shoulder that burden. Without being all snobby like Koeppel, too!

I live right down Union Avenue from the paper, so I'll take the 56 Union MATA bus to work every day. How's that for street cred? Won't that fit in with y'alls Pacific Northwest liberalism?

And I'm a conservative Libertarian! Hey, instant points with one-third of your "Greater Memphis" readership that's been feeling shut out all these years. I promise not to start any inter-office fights, too. I'll even sign a pledge.

But wait Mike, you're always taking hiatuses (haiti?)! you say. Good point, but look at my work record (resume available on request) and you'll see dependability is my middle name. I was at work during Hurricane Elvis -- hell, I walked to work during the onset of the that windstorm -- and was the only employee to show up at the store every day until power came back! I rarely get sick and come to work even then.

Hell, I'll even work for half the salary you paid Thomas! How's that for cost-savings? You'll make my mother happy in the same deal. She's been wondering since day one why I don't get paid for this blog and all the writing I do. Make her dream come true! Get her son a real job.

So, come on Commercial Appeal. Take a real dare this time. Hire the middle-aged white guy. Hire a blogger and make him your own. Put some spice back into the stew. Do something really revolutionary this time.

I double dog dare you.

That Cheney Pic

I don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal of that Cheney pic from Reuters. Judge for yourself:





No subliminal messages here, right?

Fancy Ford Outrage

So there's a new website, from the National Republican Senatorial Committee, making fun of Harold Ford Jr and boy are the liberals howling! (Go to comments for links to more outrage.)

Some are calling it a racist site, and making all kinds of contortions to prove the point. They have a picture of white Playboy bunnies! Well, there aren't that many black Playboy bunnies, are there? And the F-Unit (nickname courtesy of Chris) does go to the Playboy mansion.

Washington and New York gossip columns talk about Ford's taste for cigars and fine living, and WDIA's talk shows are full of disparagement for Ford's purported preference for white blondes.

But, as usual, the Lefties' outrage is late and selective. Yours truly has already blogged on this whole subject in July of last year! It's all there, documented with links and everything. Harold the Lesser likes the high life.

And what of it? His father and grandfather both worked very hard to propel Junior into the upper reaches of American society. He was given a private school education and went to an elite East Coast prep school. His father got him a job where he used to work.

He's got about as much to do with the "Memphis street" as I do. He's been content to not worry about it because to the constiuency that elects him to Congress he's a symbol of the black man getting ahead. He is their dream.

But no, to the Left it seems that if you point this out you must be comparing him to a pimp, the only model of black success they seem to know. F-Unit was brought up to transcend the color line, and he has. That's fine. But you can't have it both ways, as the Fancy Ford site points out. You can't "keep it real" to your poor voting audience and live a color-neutral high life on the down-low. Someone will -- and now has -- point it out.

As I noted in comments at the Flypaper Theory, what worked for the Ninth Congressional district won't fly for Tennessee as a whole. Ford now needs lots of white voters. They'll look at this double standard and turn away. This "black on the ballot, white in Washington" life is hypocritical. Pointing that out isn't racist, it's saying the emperor's son has no clothes, or rather very, very fine clothes indeed.

Of course, the press will botch the story. They'll pick up the liberal outrage and, rather than investigate the story and report Harold's double life, will blithely ignore that and just report the one-way outrage, as if that's the story. The focus will be the charge of Republican racism, and not Harold's hypocrisy. You watch.

Longtime Ford watchers and Tennesseans have known this was coming. Heck, I've even mocked Junior on this:





What really kills me is the perceived hypocrisy of Republicans for daring to confront Ford on charges of high living. Because, you know, Democrats all live in modest homes, just-enough-to-live-on salaries, and practice chaste, moderate lives.

After all, he didn't learn it from his father, who lives on an exclusive island in Miami, Florida, far from his "home" in Memphis, where he never bothers to visit any more. Or from, say, Ted Kennedy or John Kerry, both ultra-wealthy elites; or the Clintons, or well... lots and lots of Democrats!

And anyway-- You want real gossip on Ford? Try Vaginal Cream Davis and his/her juicy story:

On the last night of the convention I went to this party on the Beach in the People's Republic of S' Aunt Monica at the exclusive Jonathan Club. I got to make out with this good looking mulatto representative from Tennessee named Harold or Henry Ford Jr. or something like that. It was fun to really get down and have some brother-to-brother, dinge on dinge love. Honey I was partaking in the ultimate revolution.

It's been on that website for years now. I first saw a link via a commenter on Thaddeus Matthews blog. He should be glad that one's not getting general circulation!

Bonus Quote of the Day

Over at Achewood the Great Outdoor Fight is on. "Three Days. Three Acres. Three Thousand Men."

In one conversation Ray and Beef talk:

"Beef, why do I get the feelin' that our army's made up of ex-kids who were always picked last for kickball?"

"Can you think of anyone who has a more gigantic and deep-seated fury at the world?"

"Huh. Good point."

Yeah.

Quote of the Day

From Tim Blair's blog comes this:

For readers unfamiliar with the metric system, one metre equals 2.18 cubits.

Hey, I think it's hilarious.

Blue

There's a coven of cats that live near my building, about 8 of them. Two of them are kittens, the last remaining of a litter of six; the other four are all dead.

One is solid black, very cute. She was the runt of the litter and we all thought she'd die during the winter, but she's held on prospered. If you sit still long enough, she'll come over and sit about eight feet away or so, just chillin' with you.

One afternoon I was sitting at the computer and saw something from the corner of my eye. She was tentatively poking her head around the open kitchen door, seeing what was inside. She froze when she saw me, but I froze too until she relaxed. She explored the kitchen a while, warily keeping an eye on me. For a while, she tucked her legs up under herself and sat contentedly. Bennie never knew what was happening as she was in the bedroom napping.

I've trained this group of cats badly, I fear. I dump Bennie's bowl of uneaten food outside for them to scavenge. It's not much, but they come running from all over when they see me and the bowl. It's fascinating to watch them. Some come bolting straight for the spot; others will trot over and circle around a moment; some hang back until most of the food's gone. They sniff and peck furiously for every bit.

Anyway, the other night I was outside with a flashlight and swept it around a group of those cats. Of course their eyes all flashed greenish-gold in the reflected light.

Except the black kitten. Her eyes were a bright, clear, strong blue, like late afternoon sky. It was startling and beautiful.

I would so love to adopt this kitten before the window of her ferality closes, but of course Bennie is a jealous mistress. This is her home and not to be shared. Ah well....

Porn Ford

In the comments to this post over at The Flypaper Theory, some folks wondered what Ford would look like with a big ol' Seventies pornstar moustache. Well, ask and you shall receive!




Moustache courtesy of the legend himself, Harry Reems.

Mayor Herenton Embarrasses City, People

I wonder if this footage will make it to the evening news today? Watch and find out.

Mayor Herenton dances like a cross between James Brown and a little girl. It's being called the "Willie Wiggle" and the "Recall Rhumba." Go and see for yourself.

For a man who stresses dignity and appearance all the time, this is more than a little embarrassing. On the other hand, he is the guy who sees himself as divinely inspired and selected, so there's that. Someone needs to remind him that he lives in an age of camera-enabled cell phones and wi-fi access.

Thanks to Thaddeus for providing this, and the material in the next two posts. Memphians should keep Thaddeus in the regular reading.

Fun With The Fords

Thanks to a commenter at Thaddeus Matthews' blog for providing a link to this 2003 tidbit about Harold Ford Jr's taste in women. (Fourth paragraph.)

The Mayoral Recall Is ON!

OPERATION FEDUP is now underway. Follow the link for more information on where to obtain petition signature sheets, when the next meeting will be, and what businesses are supporting the recall.

I have long been a critic of Mayor Herenton. He's arrogant, in the pocket of certain developers, following a vision of Memphis that benefits a small area (downtown) while ignoring the other 95% of the city. He's openly lied to the public and admitted he will lie when it suits his needs. Under his watch, Memphis has gone from financial prosperity to the poor house. Our rainy day fund is gone, there is no rescue plan nor any sign of fiscal responsibility, and our bond rating has been consistently downgraded for years as a result.

At the least, it's time for him to go. In the wider scheme of things we need to send a message to the kleptocracy that's running things in Memphis that the party is OVER!

The next step after the recall is the Charter Commission. I'll blog more on this later, but it seems to me a perfect chance to undo a lot of the damage Herenton (and the City Council) have done to this city. Were you aware that the Mayor, by City Charter, can only appoint about 100 people to paid positions in the City, and that Mayor Herenton has appointed well over 300? Many receive salaries far above six figures, too.

Since these actions are already done, we're told by City lawyers that they cannot be undone, nor can salaries be downward-adjusted. We can make one fundamental change, though, via the Charter Commission to undo this: Switch to a city manager style of government from the present mayoral system.

What this allows us to do is to void everything and start over!

More on that later. In the meantime, go to Operation FedUp and get involved today. The future of your city depends on you.

Play It Now, Hate Me Later

This is quite possibly the most addictive Internet Waste of Time I've run across yet. It's a game; it's art; it's a puzzle; it's a pet.

Basically, there are four streams of sand-like particles flowing down the screen: sand, water, salt and oil. You can draw wall and floors to contain, mix and redirect them. You can draw in other things like plants, wax or fire to make things happen. There's the ???, which is... well... a fractal virus explosion.

And then there's the little namekuji, a slug-like creature moving around the screen drinking water to grow, avoiding killing salt, and sometimes eating everything. It's kinda cute until you realise fire makes it burn and too much salt makes it explode!

You can adjust the flow, the size of the walls, and the speed of the game. It will fascinate you.

Before you start, make sure to clear a couple of hours out of your schedule.

Blog Beg

My website is Hollihan.net. It's where all the pictures you see here, and many documents I save for linking, are stored. It also has a lot of half-completed projects and personal pages. I had intended at one point last year to move this blog over there but abandoned the project. Blogspot has been doing fine enough. Updating all these links would have been a monster.

Anyway, renewal of the hosting fees is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'd like to ask your assistance in paying them. Regular readers know I'm quite... uh... well, poor. The hosting plan is just around $100 for another year. So, if you can and would like to help, I'd appreciate any contributions you can make.

Just hit the PayPal donation button up on the left. And thank you very much. I've no plans to give up blogging. You'll notice that even though I'm supposedly on hiatus I'm still posting semi-occasionally. And with all the news lately -- Herenton's recall, the poltical races, Tenneessee Waltz happenings -- I fear I'll be back to regular outrage soon enough. So your money won't be wasted. So to speak.

While I'm asking y'all for help, I'd also like to ask if anyone has a digital camera they could donate. While I have a regular film camera and a scanner, the whole process from image to post is cumbersome and slow. If I had a digital camera, I could simply upload upon returning home.

I'm not looking for new or spiffy, just a camera that takes clear pictures in a variety of lighting conditions. Indoors, outdoors, rain and shine, etc. Something small enough to carry easily as well.

If anyone has an older camera or a spare and would like to donate it to Half-Bakered, I'd appreciate that too.

Thank you all for your support.

Wanted: Lite Brite

I'm still looking for a copy of the old Lite Brite game. It had a backlit board you plugged little colored pegs into to create "lighted art." It doesn't have to work, as I'm only interested in the colored pegs. It's for another project I want to do -- making army pieces and bits of terrain for the Epic: Armageddon game I play with Mark. Thanks to anyone who can help!