Things (Local News) Viewers Never, Ever Say

I found this on Lost Remote:

"Margaret! They're going to give me the details of that man wanted in the downtown robbery. Get me a pen!"

"The police want MY help in solving this crime? Cool!"

"One person was slightly injured in that accident? Good thing they had a helicopter there."

"That thing that happened half a world away? I hope this local newscast tells me if it could happen here."

"I'm glad this news station knocked on that neighbor's door next to where the shooting took place."

"Sadly, the station that I am watching presented this story to me 15 seconds after its competitor did. I know this, for I watch four televisions at once."

"It really helped my understanding of that story that they asked a couple of random idiots on the street what THEY thought of it."

"10 minutes into the show, they needed to establish the male anchor on cam before going to that VO. I had no idea who was talking."

Plenty more where these came from!