Mayor Herenton? Lead Balloon. Lead Balloon? Mayor Herenton.

It was meant to address the repeated charge that Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton often talks consolidation, but rarely provides the numbers or plans to make it happen. But the Mayor's big conference meeting -- City Council, County Commission, County Mayor, City and County Schools Superintendents -- devolved into yet another feud as soon as he stopped speaking.

The Commercial Appeal offers a slim summary of the plan, which appears to address consolidation through re-organisation and new layers of administration. County School Board member David Pickler, ever the skeptic, correctly pointed out that with merger will come "levelling up," or raising a lot of salaries to create parity, not averaging them downward a bit. No money saver there!

Most savings for a school merger come in three places. First, there is the chance to renogotiate contracts for the combined system. There's a chance to save some money, but I suspect not much given that the same number of facilities will be involved.

Second will be attrition. Unfortunately, this is far, far smaller than most folks realise. We'll still need the same number of principals, teachers, assistants, counselors, and maintenance people at the same number of schools. The only possible large cuts will be in administration. But Herenton's plan proposes a whole lot more of that. I wonder if he's presenting this five-subsystems idea as a way to sell it to the front offices? I can't imagine many administrators would actively support cutting their old jobs, unless attractive new ones were part of the package. Net result in money terms? Likely a wash at best, and very likely to end up costing more.

Last, of course, is the school funding formula, which requires the County to send $3 to City schools for every dollar they spend themselves in new construction. All new construction will be in the County for the foreseeable future. Will the formula disappear when the systems merge? Has this been explored with the lawyers? I've not seen much discussion on this as of yet, so my suspicion is that the answer isn't good.

Leave it to ol' Carol Chumney to start the Sisyphean ball back down the hill. "Count on" Carol, indeed! For whatever reason, she felt the need to pontificate on herself.

When it was time for comments and questions near the end of the meeting, Council member Carol Chumney tried to explain how she too pushed for consolidation in her unsuccessful run for county mayor.

But Herenton angrily cut her off saying, "I don't want to hear about her political campaign that she lost.

"And if you run again, you're gonna lose the next time too," he said as council member Brent Taylor walked out in anger.

After the meeting Chumney said she simply wanted the mayor to consider broadening the scope of what the task force would examine, such as consolidating police and fire departments. She said those were two areas county Mayor A C Wharton agreed to on the campaign trail two years ago.

Was it to offer advice to a Mayor never open to receiving it, especially at high-profile, high-impact media events? Or was she shooting some obscure broadside at Herenton, warning him of her own future run for Mayor? Or was she, as I've long maintained, showboating for the cameras yet again?

Whatever her record of constituent service, Chumney's "leadership" on the Council has never served to unify, only to stir up rancor. I do dearly, dearly wish she'd just shut up for a change. I know she's biologically and psychologically incapable, but still. A voter in District Five can dream, can't he?

Herenton's plan was quickly drawn, quartered and nailed to the mast as a warning to others. Even County Mayor AC Wharton stood discretely off to the side. Kudos to Herenton for at least presenting a plan, but you have to wonder who his advisors are. It seems what first needs to happen are a few private "airing out" sessions, to blow off steam and begin the work of repairing relationships. Some kind of discussion framework that will accomodate the egos involved needs to be agreed to. Then and only then can the work of governance begin.

Some kind of planning work needs to begin soon, or we will all find ourselves caught in enfillade fire between angry Councillors and an angry Mayor when it comes time to discuss funding. We'll find ourselves facing a slapped-together solution which fixes nothing and raises property taxes recklessly.

More reporting on this from WPTY/24, WMC/5, and WREG/3, although the NewsChannel Three story reads like a massaged transcription of notes. This is a report?

The mayor arrived at the meeting at 3:12 p.m. The mayor thanks everyone for coming to this historic meeting. The mayor says he doesn't have all of the answers, but he does have some major concerns.

The mayor says there is a fiscal crisis in Shelby County. Herenton says some of the leaders are in a state of denial in regard to this fiscal crisis and solutions. He says some believe these problems are simply going to vanish without any changes, but he is one elected official who does not share that sentiment. He says this crisis will require all of us collectively to make some changes.

Here's your armor and helmet. Watch your step as you enter the APC. Welcome to Memphis.